Daily/Weekly/Whenever I Remember Musings of a Naughty Crustacean

Nothing happened interesting or of note today. Went to school, went on 4chan, watched epic thread and meme being born, did some 2006 Grade 5 Music Theory paper, watched Simpsons…

You know. Boring stuff.

Oh, something interesting what I remember. I played football wit’ mah homies, and the following things happened:

1. I used Ella H., Paloma, Wimimo, Bruna and Quiet Girl to make a wall of human flesh that no ball could cross whilst I was in goal.
2. Bruna – and I do not exaggerate – leapt 38 metres from the ball in a single bound when she saw it was coming towards her, letting a ball in.
3. I pushed her over, a side-effect being she fell on her back.
4. She then pretended to be on the brink of tears to “see whetherr or not ‘e is mah enemie” (she speaks with a heavy French accent, you see), and my seeing through her ruse and keeping a blank expression as she ultrasonicked me (which is basically when she squeaks in anger so piercingly that the heads of all the bats in a 12.5-mile-radius asplode from noise overload) granted a ‘guilty’ verdict in the Court of Bruna and now probably all the women ever to have existed hate me. This is due to the Gossip or Blahblahblhlalhlblah Phenomenon.
5. I sat on the floor, confident that after the 3 goals the women then let in it was over for our team.
6. Billy tried to pick me up off the ground and in the process ripped my shirt.
7. I pummelled him a little.
8. Then Anthony whinnied about my mysogeny (or something), relating to the Bruna incident.
9. Then I pushed him on the floor a bit.
10. Then I was quite annoyed for a while.

But now I’m OK, and hopefully when I come in tomorrow I won’t be killed to death by an angry swarm of women-folk.

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
It has been proven by Kristjan-science that due to my lack of confidence related to wimmins, combined with my apparent uncaring attitude towards them, that I will get a girlfriend in approximately 87 years.